Constellations

There's something supremely satisfying in the combination of a starry Waialua sky and a slice of Chocolate Haupia Pie from Ted's Bakery. Something powerful enough to lift you right out of any slump, stress, or problem in your life. The whip cream, chocolate, and coconut flavor keep your taste buds occupied while you gaze at the constellations and listen to the sounds of the ocean in the distance.

After finally closing the books on our old place, we were left with some excess furniture. The only thing we ended up keeping was this little desk, which I put out on our back lanai (porch). At night I can come out here and do a little work on the computer while taking breaks to look up at the stars. During the day, I can enjoy a fresh breeze and watch the wild chickens scramble around our yard and the neighbor's field. Add a little Jack Johnson in the background and you're truly North Shore living.

I'm really enjoying the new place and all it has to offer. That's not to say that the job's getting any easier. They just simply keep adding new kids into my class. In order for self-contained special education classes to work, you need to keep the numbers down around 8-12 kids. Fifteen max. We're pushing 20 right now. Every single one of these students needs individual attention... but who's going to give it to them when there are 19 other students who also need it? I'm worried that we're not giving these kids any of the things on their IEPs...every week, as the new students trickle in, this class becomes more and more like a general education classroom. In fact, I know that some of the other English teachers who teach gen-ed actually have smaller classes than mine right now.

But if there's on thing I've learned from this experience so far, it's that for situations like this, you have two choices. The first is to complain. We had a kid in our corps who also taught SPED (I'm just going to refer to him as Furious George) and complained about everything. Any sort of adversity was accompanied by a legion of whining. He lasted a month out here as a resource teacher until he actually had to deal with students. Then he was gone. Your second choice is to step up and just do it. That phrase is so cliche, but it really does make sense. I have to find a way to make this work, because a lot of options have already been explored, and it looks like I'm going to be stuck with the "Terrible Twenty" for quite some time.

The best part is that I love these kids. Together, they're incredibly difficult to handle, but I'm so invested in them. I just want them to do well, pure and simple. Plus, we watched a movie today, and every single on of them was engaged and sitting still for over an hour. So it is possible. I'm just going to have to work my tail off to figure out how to make every single one of my lessons as exciting as a movie. But in time, I think I can do it.

Let's throw all the Teach For America stats, figures, acronyms, and theories aside for a second. When it comes down to it, you can either turn away and complain about everything like Furious George, or you can look your problem in the face, be a hero, and live every day like it's Shark Week. I think I'll try the second route.