BUSIness

I've failed to post for a while now only because I've been so busy. Don't get me wrong, a ton has happened. The first two and a half weeks of school have absolutely flown by. I can't believe that I'm about to get into Week 4 of teaching.

I'd love to be able to write about how amazing things are and how well I'm doing with my students, but it would be a lie. This hasn't been easy at all. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done. I knew this would be the case, but now that I'm neck deep in it I'm very overwhelmed. Teaching itself is difficult (I learned that at Institute), but teaching special education so far seems about 10 times harder. A lot of things worked for me at Institute. Here, everything that worked for me has been pretty ineffective. I need to learn how to reach these kids according to their specific disabilities and then work that into my planning. It's a science.

On top of that, I'm in charge of IEPs for seven students, which so far looks like a full time job in itself if you do it right. I'm still learning the process- there are tons of meetings, procedures, and forms that need to be filled out. I'm learning all of this on the fly, and I have my first re-evaluation (something that's done every three years) due in October.

There's still more. I'm taking an online course through UH, and that has also occupied much of my weeknights and weekends. The final paper is supposed to be 35 pages.

Finally, there's my Italian class. It's an elective course that lasts a quarter. I teach two forty minute classes of it each day. Don't get me wrong- I love teaching the language and the culture, but it's another lesson plan to do every night and the 8th graders I teach are really testing what I learned during Institute about classroom management.

I don't want to complain about any of this because I know I'm meant to be here doing this. Every TFA corps member struggles in the beginning. This is my struggle. I know it's natural and it's supposed to go this way. Sometimes I just have to laugh about it. Almost every day I stay in my classroom until about 6 or 6:30, and my biggest goal is to get out in time to watch the sunset on the drive home. I work and work, but I feel as though I'm falling farther and farther behind. It's frustrating.

But lately I'm starting to feel myself make a comeback. I keep on clawing and clawing, and slowly but surely I think I'm getting there. I think I got this.

I try to give my mind and thoughts a rest sometimes (even in my sleep I dream about school), and the best way to do that is to throw on my mask and go underwater. It's an escape for me. The other day I got home early and rode my bike to the beach for a swim. I came across one of the most incredible things I've ever seen: an enormous sea turtle. Sea turtles are common up here and I see them a lot, but this one was huge- bigger than me. I swam with it for a long time and just watched it. It moved slowly along the sea floor, eating some plants that had grown on the coral. It looked like a dinosaur. I floated there for a while in heavy debate. You're not allowed to even touch the sea turtles here, but this one was right in front of me and no one was around. So I grabbed onto its giant shell and tried to get a free ride. It began swimming off and trying to shake me off, so I let go. That will probably be the last time I try to ride a sea turtle, but I'm glad I got it over with so I won't be tempted to do it again (you can get fined some heavy cash if you're caught doing it).

It's a three day weekend celebrating Hawaii's statehood so I'm going to use the days off to recharge and then revamp my gameplan. I figure the more I plan, the less I have to scramble during the week. Eventually I'm going to get my feet on the ground and get control of it. I can't wait.