Aloha

I almost always fall asleep right before the plane takes off. This time, though, as the jets fired up and we began to lift, my heart was beating quickly. I looked out the window and down upon Oahu one last time. Aloha, I whispered to myself.  

What does Aloha truly mean? It's goodbye, but it's also hello. It's love. But it's also more than that. To really understand it, you have to feel it. 

I did a lot on this island in six years, and Aloha was there through it all. I taught. English, Social Studies, Math, Science, News Writing, Yearbook. Italian. Special Education. Gifted and Talented. You name it, I probably taught it at some point. I struggled greatly at first but fought to improve. I wagered just about everything I had on the success of my kids. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. When the last bell rang on my final day at Wheeler Middle School, I shut my door and sat at my desk. In the empty silence, I cried heavy tears. I thought back to my first days, to those first students. I hoped that I had given them as much joy and life as they had given me. 

I lived. The North Shore was my playground, and I spent my free time exploring the hills on my bike, diving through caves with my mask, and paddling calm waters on my SUP. The sand between my toes brought comfort. Each sunset told a captivating and unpredictable story of sea, sky, colors, and clouds. I enjoyed watching it play out.  

I loved. I felt the Aloha all around me, and I gave it right back. I opened up, learned to better express the care I felt. I loved more deeply than I ever thought possible. 

It's not easy to put into words what this experience has meant to me. At some point you’ve probably come across a Huffington Post article or some sort of Buzzfeed list that describes what it’s like to live in Hawaii. It was probably written by a white middle class transplant like me who fell hard for the islands. 

For just a second, disregard it. Let me tell you everything you need to know about Hawaii.

Hawaii is the intersection of heaven and earth, and truly living in Hawaii means existing on both sides. It means living with an open heart and a free soul. Living Aloha. You don’t just witness and admire the immense beauty- it becomes you and you become it. Hawaii changed me. I will never be the same.

God must’ve been showboating when he (or she) put together these islands. I am infinitely grateful for the love, the beauty, the life, and for my Hawaiian ‘ohana. My family.  

Aloha.