Saturday, September 27, 2008

NCLB?

When the No Child Left Behind Act was passed in 2001 and I heard all the controversy surrounding it, I had no idea that one day it would be such a huge part of my life.

The act focuses on high stakes testing and requires schools to produce proficient standardized test scores from all students. If schools don't achieve certain proficiency, they face consequences.

My class had its first bout with NCLB- it was the quarterly Hawaii State Assessment test for reading, kind of a practice/check-up to see how students were doing in preparation for the big test at the end of the year. We touched gloves, the bell rung, and we got knocked out in the first round.

It wasn't very fun at all. I have students who literally don't know how to take tests. When reading (or attempting to read) the passages on the test, a few thought that the numbers on the side of the page that corresponded with the paragraphs were problems that they had to answer. The short response answers on their tests were a nightmare. One student simply copied random parts of the text. Others just wrote "I don't know" or left it blank.

But the morale during the test was the worst part. Imagine being asked to sit down for over an hour to do something that you simply can't do. Most of my students were very frustrated. A couple even cried. Early on, I walked around their desks and left post-its for each student giving little notes of encouragement- "You're doing great work. Keep it up! -Mr. T" Some of my students crossed out the words like "good" and "great" on the notes and wrote "bad." One student asked what a word in one of the questions meant, and I told him I couldn't help him with it. He got mad, and when I looked at his test later, the answer for that question read, "This scool wont help me. theye'r supposed to help us learn."

The point is that as far as the HSA Quarterly test goes, I failed. I failed my students and I failed my school. I failed the country's goal of getting all children to reach proficiency in the statewide standardized assessments.

But here's the question: Was I set up for failure? I love my students and know they have a lot of potential, but is it realistic to expect them to get proficient scores on this test and achieve at the same levels as other students in the general education setting?

At some point you have to ask yourself if it's really fair to hold everyone to the same expectations. The way I look at it, it would be like me being with a group of 6 foot 4 people whose goal was to slam dunk a basketball. Sure, I could go through the same training as them, but chances are I'd never actually be able to dunk. I'd be able to increase my vertical in the process and make great individual improvements, but I'd never be able to actually throw down. It wouldn't be physically possible. So would it be fair to punish me for not being able to do something that I simply wasn't made to do?

I think it's safe to say that the authors of this act never actually taught Special Ed. We have so many things we're already expected to accomplish- individual goals for each student as well as the statewide standards. Students who often have half the intellectual capability as the norm are expected to achieve twice as much. From the perspective of someone who had no knowledge about special education until about 5 months ago, it just doesn't seem to make any sense.

Granted, there are a lot more things I could have done for these kids before this quarterly test to prepare them- we could've focused a lot more on test-taking skills, how to cite examples from the text, etc. They could have been a lot more invested. I guess I was too busy trying to lay down the foundations first- like writing complete sentences and organizing ideas.

My kids are learning things, but the sad truth is that they are behind. They're not left behind- because I'm back there with them pushing them forward towards the rest of the pack. But I'm not sure if we'll ever quite catch up.


These ones are well on their way.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Getting by...



The Snake Road (Highway 83) is one of two routes that connects the North Shore to the rest of the island. I drive this road to and from school every day. In the mornings, my mind's too occupied with the many tasks of the day that lie ahead, so I rarely get a chance to peak at my rear view mirror to admire the gorgeous views of the ocean. But on the way home, usually around sunset, I'm treated to an incredible sight that instantly removes all stress and anxiety. Looking down on the Pacific and the small towns of Waialua and Haleiwa from the winding road above, I remember how lucky I am to be living in this little piece of paradise.

I went and cashed my second paycheck yesterday, and I sadly realize that I was making more money up at the Ridge working about 1/4 the time and putting in about 1/100 the effort that I'm putting in now with this teaching gig. But I'm starting to figure things out, slowly but surely. It's no longer a question of IF I'll be able to do this, but now HOW WELL. Which I feel is a huge step. For a while I was feeling pretty outmatched, which I'm not too used to.

Teaching is still a great challenge, but the unique experience that is every single day in my classroom cannot be topped. There's always something absolutely nuts going on and a lot of the time I can't help but just laugh it off. My kids are crazy (sometimes literally), but I enjoy every single one of them and can't help but smile when I see them. If you don't like the your kids, that's when you're in trouble.

Lately I've been look back at TFA Institute in Houston, which at that point was the hardest five weeks of my life. But now, all of that seems like a cakewalk. My kids were angels who already knew most of the material, I only taught one 50 minute class each day, and I had a great group of five people to collaborate with to create good lesson plans. Now it's all me, and SPED is a whole new level of challenging. But it's also a whole new level of rewarding as well, and I'm starting to see that as my students begin achieving even the slightest bit. I know I was put here for a reason, and I know that this is where I belong.

I still live for the weekends since you can't beat a weekend up here. Last weekend I went on a hike into a Jurassic Park-like jungle and jumped off a waterfall. I also did some free diving (deepwater snorkeling) with Gonzaga's own Kyle Bond, and we saw a sting ray and a moray eel. We also perfected the risky yet exhilarating art of arch-diving- that is, swimming down and through underwater arches.

The key to arch-diving is to be calm and not panic. If you exert too much energy on the way down or when you're swimming through the cave, you'll run out of air and get into some trouble. But if you're calm and steady, you'll get through fine.

This should be Teach For America Hawaii's motto.